What makes relationships so sacred and so special is the fact that they are places where we can feel safe and free from the self-induced obligation to present to others a false persona of who we would like for others to see us. How else can we grow if we are not able to show our true selves with all our foibles and rawness? I don’t think we can. The paradox of relationships is the fact that the more we are able to unpack all of our humanness the more we are able to shine as we were meant to be.  Ask any married couple if either spouse feels like they can let their true self come out and shine if they do not feel safe and secure. In fact, I was just speaking with two husbands today and they both stated on separate occasions that without connection and letting each spouse know that there is protection and security that relationship will be on the down slope.

A few days ago I found a great movie illustration for this. The Movie, “Stardust,”  I won’t go into the storyline except that Yviane (a fallen star) is stuck with Tristan for a few days and during that time Yvaine falls more and more in love with Tristan. For more info on the movie click here . You can also visit www.stardustmovie.com The way you know is that she starts to shine. Take a look.

She shines when she is with the captain because he is protecting her and she is having a great time on a flying ship. (who wouldn’t). However, when she is dancing with Tristan she can’t contain it and shines for everyone to see. So the question must be asked of you and of me. What is it that I can do to make my love feel more protected and free to just shine? What is it that I can do to help stabilize the relationship? What I love about the dancing scene is that it is just them. He is focused on her and she on him. They are together hand in hand and the world has now become secondary.Keep this in mind and let’s proceed.

Later in the movie Yvaine is captured and Tristan goes and saves her. Well, the witch that kidnapped Yvaine can only be defeated by something supernatural and Tristan doesn’t have that power. So Yvaine steps in and kills the witch with her shine but listen to what she says, “What do stars do? Shine” Remember when she was speaking with Captain Shakespeare she said that stars “glow” not “shine.”

Yvaine has the capability to shine even during the threat of certain death because of her devotion and love for Tristan. He has shown her that he loves her by going after her. One music artist said that her and her husband never get in an argument or a heated discussion without holding hands because its difficult to yell at someone when you are touching them. If the relationship is protected and both spouses feel honored, protected, respected and cared for then the outside world is a mere annoyance that can be always worked through.

What do you think?